Reasons Why Toxic Friends Are Bad For You

How many of us refer to virtually everyone we meet as friends? We can thrive on being famous, enthusiastically accumulate lots of introductions, have hundreds of contacts on our phones and network voraciously. But how many of the people we meet with daily, socialise with, reveal our innermost thoughts and secrets to are true friends, Reasons Why Toxic Friends Are Bad For You.

Are they really your friends

Cable network, Lifetime recently commissioned a survey on this very subject and discovered that millions of Britons can't bear their mates because they're too high maintenance or have no common interests. It's hardly shocking when we reflect that many of the people we spend time with are there by circumstance or accident.

We may have acquired friendships during our early school days, from our neighbourhood, through family ties or at work, but over time progressively realised that we've grown apart, supporting various interests, ambitions and outlooks.

Are your friends really your friends

The Lifetime study shows that different views, lifestyles and humour mean that 40 percent of us have frenemies, people we socialise with but don't really like. And, in fact, many of us struggle to get along in our own community.

Why is this case so commonplace? I suppose it's always convenient and takes less effort to brush together with the people in our own orbit, with those that seem friendly or good enough. Mixing and meeting regularly means we network, strengthen our social hierarchy and build our own tribe.

But often ours mates can be pessimistic, causing more harm than good. A time may come when we need to ask ourselves: Are my friends bad for me? Do they respect my best interests, challenge me to improve myself and show real care?

Good friends

Consider how much of yourself you put in your friendships. Some people give of themselves constantly, providing time, loyalty, money; often thinking of others before themselves. Sharing our hopes, secrets and aspirations may work if those involved apply the same concern, but sometimes one person is more heavily invested in the relationship.

Nothing remains the same in life. New desires arise in the form of a life partner, children, a job advancement, or opportunities to relocate or travel more. Health-related issues may arise, requiring us to adapt. As a result, some relationships may be downgraded while others become more important.

It's smart, therefore, not to put all of your eggs in one basket. If we place too much emphasis on one or two friendships, we can become excessively possessive, propriety, jealous, or controlling. Fear of losing out  can be a consideration if we watch someone we've shared something previously with beginning to live an exciting new life.

No one wants to be guilt-tripped, bullied, or threatened into making poor decisions by their peers, or to be on the receiving end of such treatment. That is why it is important to understand that we may have friendships in a number of settings. Such relationships do not need to consume us, but can fulfil and sustain us in a number of ways instead.

We may have friends at work who are awesome. They share our outlook and enjoy debating job and career problems, but they have little else in common. When someone leaves their work, promising to stay in touch, this also becomes evident. Even if they return after just a few weeks, there's usually not much to chat about once the initial greetings are done.

Good friends

Suggestions for retaining healthy friendships,

How to be a better friend

1) For both your emotional and companionship needs, learn not to rely too heavily on one relationship. It's nice to have a small group of best friends, but listen to your own advice. It's too much pressure for both you and them to ask one person to be everything to you. Keep your identity and enjoy other relationships, hobbies and interests.

2) Understand that certain mates have weaknesses. Some may be friends with fair weather, only capable of dealing with fun, laughter and good times. Others may be foul-weather mates, willing to listen, counsel and encourage you, but they are disinterested in drinking and frolicking. Both have to play their part.

In your relationships, take note of how much of yourself you're able to give up. What are you offering? What are you getting in return? Do you have any enough! boundaries when it comes to sharing time, money, personal secrets, and information? Extraordinary conditions may suggest that one person takes more and the other gives more, but set limits so that the traffic is not permanently one-way.

What makes a good friendship

3) Agree that circumstances change; there may be a new partner, a job or business opportunity that needs more concentrated time, effort or even the opportunity to work away. In celebrating the achievements of your mates, be charitable.

4) Stick to your guns and trust your intuition on what's best for you. Friends can have a different opinion or even a hidden agenda when it comes to what you should do. Yeah, partnerships necessitate compromise and collaboration, but don't risk your happiness to satisfy others all of the time. Flexibility is good, but it shouldn't become a habit,  make sure your friendships are beneficial to you.

What makes a good friend 

5) All friendships should be equitable that is, you should get as much as you put in, and everything should be based on reciprocity and mutuality. If you're putting in more than you're taking out, you may want to rethink what they're asking.

6) In front of people, they bring you down or make fun of you, this is a no-no. Typically, when they feel bad about themselves and want to use someone else as a diversion, people do this. Draw a line right away for some friendships like this.

You re a good friend

7) When you spend time with them, you feel bad about yourself, It's hard to evaluate behaviour sometimes, but the feelings never lie. Friendships should make you feel good about yourself, inspired, and uplifted. If you make them feel bad, you should probably rethink the friendship's importance to you. Unfortunately, some people love taking others down.

8) Conditionally appears to be integrated into your relationship, this is true for all of your relationships. You should feel like they are unconditional and not based in a certain way on your being or behaving.

9) BAIL out on your mates, It happens from time to time, which is good, but if it happens regularly, it clearly suggests that your friend is unreliable and has far less invested in the relationship than you do. Maybe it's time for you to give up on them for good.

10) They are a bad influence and make you do things that get you into trouble, Before you get yourself into trouble, nip this in the bud. Friends don't make friends do bad things... or text while drunk, but we'll ignore that for the time being.

11) What to do when your friend is being mean, Behind backs, they converse about their other mates, If they do this, the odds are they're doing it to you, too. Occasionally, it's good to have a sigh, but something sinister will definitely mean that they are not as sincere as they would like you to believe. and

How to be a better friend

12) Exclude yourself from stuff with mutual friends, If it's done on purpose and happens regularly despite you bringing it up, we recommend maintaining some distance. It is important to note that it can often happen unintentionally, so before jumping to conclusions, try to speak to them about it.

13) Aggressively competitive, they are it's healthy to be competitive now and then, but as with most things, there's such a thing as too much of a good thing. Never safe or a real relationship is a friendship founded on competitive behaviour.

Reasons Why Toxic Friends Are Bad For You, Is it okay to have no friends, comments at Games in love.