Signs You're Settling For Someone

 

They tell you to be patient. They advise not to settle. They advise waiting for God to send you the proper man. They say if you concentrate on yourself, the right man will come along. We've all heard these cliches a million times, and we see them all the time on our Facebook news feeds. We "like" and "comment" all day long, but do we truly listen to the advice given?  Signs you're settling for someone.

Do we truly use that motivation to examine our troubled relationships and accept responsibility for our part in their misery? Probably not, since the truth, as they say, stings.

Settle Down And Get Married

We avoid taking responsibility because it would be painful. But the truth is that there are millions of women out there who are dissatisfied every day because they aren't getting everything they want and need from their relationships.

They settle, which is why they do not receive what they desire and need. They let the man, and only the man, set the terms of their relationships. Now, I'm all for compromise, but allowing the man to dictate every part of the relationship will just add to the suffering.

"Am I as happy as I can be in the relationship I'm in right now?" ask yourself. Whether you answered no, take a look at your circumstances to determine if any of the following scenarios apply to you:

You Are What You Settle For

1. You stay in it for far too long without requiring any significant commitment, You've been seeing someone for months, if not years, and they're quite satisfied to keep insisting that you're just pals who are "kicking it." Ladies, let me tell you something. If a man tells you that and defines your connection in that way, he isn't dedicated to you or the relationship.

That just means he isn't ready to commit to just one woman, and while that may be difficult to hear, he is likely to be open to being with someone else while he is with you. By characterizing your relationship as simply "kicking it," he can legitimately claim that if he is ever found with someone else, he is single and unattached.

If you've been with this person for a while and your feelings have been strongly engaged, as they often do when you've been sexual with someone for a long time, and you want a true, solid, committed relationship with him but you know that's not what he wants, you should end it. He is not the right man for you at this moment.

Should I Settle For A Nice Guy

Even if he is well aware of your relationship goals and requirements, don't expect him to do the " decent" thing and let you go because he knows he can't provide you with what you want and need.

No, he'll continue to have his cake and eat it too for as long as you allow him. For as long as you settle for something less than what you want.

2. You defend him in front of your friends and family, How often have you had to justify him and his conduct in front of your friends and family? How many times have you attended family gatherings on holidays without him because he was preoccupied with something else? What do you tell family and friends when they enquire about your plans with him, such as whether you plan to marry him one day?

We imagine a future with someone we love when we are in a loving relationship. We want him to become one of our friends and family members. We'd like to be able to brag about how nicely he treats us and how much he loves us.

Relationship Never Settle For Less Quotes

But it's uncomfortable to explain to friends and family that you're dealing with someone who isn't on the same page as you and doesn't desire the same fairy tale of a committed relationship as you. Instead, because he is not present or if a relationship topic arises, holidays and functions become unpleasant.

Making excuses is merely a method of putting up a show for other people that your relationship is something it isn't. Because it's embarrassing to you, it shows you genuinely want things like you to describe because that's the life you want. Allowing oneself to continue experiencing this is calming.

Don't waste your time with a relationship that is not going on the right path for you. Allow it to go because holding on may prevent the next man from giving you what you desire in a relationship.

When She's Ready To Settle Down

3. You let him live with you despite his lack of employment. No one knows the state of the economy better than I do. When faced with job insecurity and unexpected unemployment, I understand how discouraging it can be to begin yet another job hunt. Job hunting is a full-time job in and of itself.

However, if you have a man at home who is jobless and has been jobless for more than 6 months, but you are working and bringing home the bacon to support you both, you may need to take a closer look at his situation and ask yourself if he is truly doing everything he can to find work and contribute to the household.

Essentially, you'll have to remove your "love blinders" and decide whether or not your partner is a slacker. If you look at the scenario and notice that he hasn't applied for jobs because he believes "they don't pay enough" or "I'm not going to do that type of work," but you come home to find him playing video games and eating Doritos, you're dealing with a man who simply doesn't want to work.

Don't Settle For Less Just Because It's Available - Consider this: if one of your pals or family members stayed at your place all day and didn't contribute, how long would it take before it got on your nerves? How long do you think it would take you to say something? Wouldn't you set a deadline for them to get their act together or leave? You would, and you already know it.

But, since he's your man and you're in love with him and wearing your "love blinders," you want to make excuses for him and opt to let him do nothing while you struggle to make ends meet.

You are not living the life God intended for you. You should give that man the same deadline you would give your girlfriend or family member to get off the couch and accomplish something. Especially with that man, because in a committed partnership, a man must carry the brunt of the financial burden for the household.

Married And Settle Down

Stop settling for someone who isn't willing to put up any effort to help you. What makes you believe he'd be a good provider if you were married if providing for you isn't a priority for him now?

4. By cheating, you allow him to disrespect you. Why do some women let men continually disrespect them by cheating on them with no repercussions? Probably because we fall in love and it's so easy to trust what he says instead of what we see and feel with our perfectly decent instincts that God has given us.

You locate telephone numbers. He claims he only took it because he didn't want to offend anyone. You trust him. You search his phone for evidence and discover incriminating text messages.

Signs He's Settling For You

They were merely fooling about, he claims, and nothing happened. You trust him. Condoms are discovered. He claims that they aren't his and that he was keeping them for his son. You trust him. In the grand scheme of things, you know that all of them sound like a load of nonsense.

But, since you're in love and desperately want to think that your partner would never, ever cheat on you, you choose, yes, choose, to accept what he says, despite your gut, instincts, and all logic.

You keep your blinders on, appearing to be content in this "committed relationship" in which you are the only one committing. You disregard the fact that he is demeaning you, first by cheating and then by lying. Just so you can brag about having a man.

Even if solid proof of his cheating is offered, he begs and pleads for forgiveness and says that he will never do it again, and you forgive him and believe him. You don't make it difficult for him to keep you. You're teaching him how to treat you by doing so.

You're showing him that all he has to do is apologize and promise not to do it again the next time he makes a mistake, and everything will be OK. Why would he quit if that is the only penalty he has to pay for his actions? You are accepting this type of treatment and will continue to be duped if you allow it to continue with no consequences for him.

Someone Who Doesn't Settle

5. After a breakup, you always take him back. Every partnership experiences highs and lows. Most of us have been in relationships where we broke up just to realize how miserable we were without the other person and rekindle the relationship. However, if your breakups are primarily due to your man's infidelity, you must ask yourself when enough is enough.

If you're dealing with a serial cheater and you're strong when you find out and decide to leave him, you must remain strong enough to hold firm and refuse to accept being cheated on. When dealing with the sadness of losing a relationship, we frequently experience periods of loneliness, during which we miss them greatly. It's all too simple to call an ex in a moment of weakness and invite him back into your life with his dishonest ways. It develops into a pattern.

You're both happy and together. You learn out about his cheating. You end your relationship with him. You become despondent. You summon him to return. You've regained your happiness. Until you discover he's cheating on you again. You break up with him once more. And the cycle continues indefinitely.

How Are You Settling In

If your partner continues to ignore your feelings and refuses to quit cheating, you must find the strength to end the relationship and move on. You must quit accepting this type of treatment since you are adding to your suffering by doing so.

Stop allowing yourself to be treated this way and accept responsibility for your misery. Take it as a learning lesson and find someone who will be faithful and loyal to you and treat you the way you deserve.

If you find yourself engaging in any of these five behaviors, it's important to stand back and evaluate your relationship.

Determine whether you are prepared to sacrifice your happiness by being with someone unable or unwilling to provide you with the type of connection you seek. If you aren't, it's time to leave.

Signs you're settling for someone, Does everyone settle in relationships, comments at Games in love.