Why You Keep Attracting Unavailable Partners

 

Even if a man may want to be intimately involved with a woman, he can keep meeting women who aren't interested in him. He may discover that this aspect of his life leads him to feel a good degree of aggravation because he has been with many women who are like this, Why you keep attracting unavailable partners.

Being Attracted

If he were to reflect on his life, he could realize that this is something that has been going on for a while possibly for several decades. He will probably wish to modify this aspect of his life soon, regardless of how long it has been going on.

A Misrepresentation

He may have thought he had finally found someone ready for an intimate relationship when he first met these women. Then he would have realized that this was just a mirage, just as if the lights had turned green.

As a result, he might have been hard on himself for finding it difficult to understand how he was conned once more. He might have blamed the companion at this point, considering her just another lady who had squandered his time.

Being Attracted To

When It All Started

He might imagine how intrigued these women were when he first met them if he were to recall their initial interactions. They would have been quite interested in him right away.

They may have been quite affectionate, and happy to spend time with him daily. Their sexual experience, which was likely highly pleasant, is another item that might stand out.

Note - It's no secret that many of us become dependent on the excitement of the dating scene. Humans frequently desire things that are out of reach. It will be a never-ending, fruitless pursuit chasing after someone emotionally unavailable, but that might be thrilling to you. This is also heavily influenced by psychology and is known as intermittent reinforcement.

What Makes You Attracted To Someone

Dating has some positive reinforcement, but it's intermittent, so it doesn't happen all the time.

Two Distortions

To draw a comparison, it would have been as if they had been at the North Pole at one point and the Sahara desert at another. It would have been difficult for them to adjust to changing climates.

Though it's possible, it wasn't always this quick and that it sometimes took place more gradually. This could have indicated that it took them some time to realize what was happening.

Example - The woman may have found time to visit them a few times per week at first, but as time passed, things changed. He might have discovered that she was rarely free as time went on and things got more serious.

She might also have gradually become less and less interested in having sex. She would have changed from being warm and approachable to being cold and distant at that point.

Why Are We Attracted To Someone

Note - When someone you care about suddenly leaves or draws away, you could personalize the situation and believe you must have done something wrong. Examining your part in recurring dating patterns can be useful since occasionally you might unwittingly act in ways when dating that make people want to avoid you.

A Bold Message

However, it could become apparent that a lady isn't necessarily available just because she comes on strong in the beginning. This can be a blatant indication that she's unavailable.

A woman would probably take her time getting to know a man if she was genuinely ready to be in an intimate relationship. She wouldn't just want to let anyone into her life she'd want to do it with an open heart.

Emotionally Unavailable People

An Important Differ

It may be a sign that her heart is closed if she comes on quickly and even appears open to having sex right immediately. Being completely naked is one thing, but showing one's true self is quite another.

He might not have understood this, though, if he had become engrossed in the events that were happening. Then, with his emotions all over the place, he wouldn't have been able to think rationally.

Note - As a child, one or more of your caregivers were unavailable. It's not uncommon to be drawn to the same type of spouse repeatedly because it seems comfortable if one or both of your parents were emotionally unavailable or gone from your life.

Loving Someone Unavailable

People frequently repeat the same dynamic they experienced as youngsters in an unconscious attempt to make up for what happened in the past and hang onto the belief that things would turn out differently this time. Subconsciously, you can also think that you don't deserve love, that other people can't take care of your needs, or that love isn't real unless you have to work for it.

The disadvantage of this is that it would leave him with limited options since he would start to think that this is just how women are. He will have no control over this aspect of his life.

He is the one who continues appearing, indicating that he is involved in what is happening, which is something that cannot be ignored in this situation. If he were to go deep within himself, he might discover that the reason he continually falls for women like these is that he lacks emotional availability.

Unavailable People

Dual Levels

He will cognitively want to find a woman who isn't available, but subconsciously he won't want to approach her too closely. The ladies he attracts will then reflect to him what is happening internally at a deeper level.

He might not be able to notice this because of his long-standing defenses, which will prevent him from feeling anything. He might quickly understand why he lives his life in this way if these defenses were taken away.

Note - You are without a portion of yourself. You might be tempted to resist this knowledge since it can be difficult to accept. Consider the possibility that you are attracted to emotionally unavailable relationships because you are similarly unavailable in some way.

Attraction To Emotionally Unavailable

You may cognitively desire commitment, but secretly you may be afraid of getting wounded, losing your sense of self in the relationship, or experiencing actual closeness.

The Past

His mother might have smothered him in his early years by being overly attached to him. He would have felt violated by this, helpless to stop it, but he would have felt violated nonetheless.

The only way he would have been able to cope with this anguish would have been to emotionally shut down. He would have lost touch with his emotional self as a result, but it was a minor price to pay.

Attracted To Unavailable Woman

He will perceive becoming emotionally involved with a woman as something that will cause him to lose himself to be destroyed. By going through life in this fashion, he will likely feel a good bit of rage and irritation, but to his unconscious mind, this will be what seems secure.

If a man can identify with this and wants to make changes in this area of his life, he might need to seek out outside assistance.

Note - It's critical to be able to spot someone emotionally unavailable. Examine your interactions with them and see the warning indicators. Instead of hoping they'll alter their mind or attempting to persuade them, if they've been upfront and said they don't want a relationship, they don't have the capacity for one, or anything similar, then believe them. You'll make significant time savings for yourself.

Emotionally Unavailable Women

In the hopes of experiencing a breakthrough, our inner child replays the past by repeatedly selecting the same type of partner and getting let down. He'll adapt. She'll adapt. It will improve. You must overcome your fear of the unknown and the discomfort of change to break this pattern. Saying no instead of continuing to want for that person to change will be the only way to make things better.

Real progress is made when a pattern is recognized and a conscious decision is made not to repeat it, even if it is safe, familiar, and pleasant to do so.

Why you keep attracting unavailable partners, falling for someone who is emotionally unavailable, comments at Games in love.